eBay funny song lyrics: I Sold My Wife on eBay. Sucker willing to buy, sell anything, schmeeBay.  MickTerry.com

eBay funny song lyrics: I Sold My Wife on eBay. Sucker willing to buy, sell anything, schmeeBay.  MICK TERRY
COMPOSER-SONGWRITER
 
Silent Tree Music - Song Lyrics 

( eBay funny song lyrics )
I SOLD MY WIFE ON eBay
Copyright © 2005 - mickterry.com

1: Things have not been going too smoothly
between Jessica & me.
There are no more plates or vases left to throw.
There are pockmarks in the plaster
'though she's vacuumed the debris.
& it's been some time that I've wanted her to go.

2: But then, she insists upon staying:
something 'bout our wedding vows,
how we swore we'd be forever, thick or thin.
& she's gotten more thickheaded
& she's thicker than a cow.
But I've thinned it down to one way where I can win.

CHORUS:
I sold my wife on eBay to some unsuspecting fool.
I dumped her in exchange for a load of cash.
I sold my wife on eBay. Yeah,
& that was pretty cool.
& next her mother's going up for grabs.

3: Now, she doesn't know she's been auctioned
for the highest bid online.
Thought I'd tell her when she's packed inside the crate
with enough food for the shipping
& I know she'll be just fine.
& besides, by then it would really be too late.
CHORUS:

BRIDGE:
eBay, schmeeBay: you can sell anything at all.
You can always find some sucker willing to buy.
eBay, schmeeBay: all the virtues you can extol
in the ad you place on line, but you'd better not lie.

4: So, my ad was worded precisely:
optimized her few good points,
made the least of any drawbacks, faults or sins.
Well, the bidding went quite nicely
& the buyer will enjoy
how she likes to throw:   he's a catcher for The Twins.
CHORUS:

Copyright © 2005  MICK TERRY  Silent Tree Music  All rights reserved
[ Reprinted here by permission of the composer-lyricist ]   BMI
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