COMPOSER-SONGWRITER
 
Silent Tree Music - Song Lyrics 

( Funny airport security song lyrics )
SECURITY STRIP-SEARCHED GRANNY
Copyright © 2005 - mickterry.com

1: With his beady eyes & his bearded stubble,
there he stood in line ahead.
I could tell right off that he looked like trouble
from the turban on his head.

2: I am not some kind of a raging racist,
but some profiling might work
to protect our planes & important places
from the suicidal jerks.

3: But Security quickly passed him onward
& he boarded on our plane.
When it came our time as the line inched forward,
it was nowhere near the same.

CHORUS:
Security strip-searched Granny
when they found her fingernail file.
Security strip-searched Granny,
interrogated her for a long while.
They tore apart her carry-on
& they kept us off of our flight.
Security strip-searched Granny
throughout the bitter cold night.

4: She took off her coat, emptied all her pockets,
pulled the bridgework from her teeth.
Granny placed her rings & her two gold lockets
through the big X-ray machine.

5: Then they found the file that my wife had bought her,
got the SWAT team here on the spot.
& they grabbed my wife & my teenage daughter:
co-conspirators in some plot.
CHORUS:

BRIDGE 1:
I can see where my shoelaces
could make a slim-line gavotte.
I concede that my dental floss
could make a hangman's knot.
I am willing to put all my freedoms
on a temporary hold.
I am willing to do lots of things
so we can catch these criminals cold.

6: No complaints when they took my own nail clipper
& my triple-headed Schick.
But when they took my son's plastic Star light-saber,
I had had enough of this.

BRIDGE 2:
"Back off or I shave the pilot":
a plastic knife to the Captain's throat.
"I've got a shoe heel & I know how to use it."
But Security can't take a joke.
CHORUS:

7: Seems they missed the point of my subtle humor
as the SWAT team hit me low.
Still my fam'ly's trial won't come any sooner
in the tents at Guantanamo.

8: That the turbaned man wasn't bent on terror
left me feeling rather dumb.
It turned out that he's just a simple farmer
with his crop of opium.
CHORUS:

Copyright © 2005  MICK TERRY  Silent Tree Music  All rights reserved
[ Reprinted here by permission of the composer-lyricist ]   BMI
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To other story song lyrics:   HEY, MISTER!
To other crime song lyrics:   FORTY BIBLES
To other police song lyrics:   IT'S JUST A JOB
To other prison song lyrics: A DIFFERENT MAN
To other terrorism song lyrics:   SLEEPER CELL
COPYCAT, COPYCAT
BIN LADEN, BIN LADEN
LITTLE TIMMY (McVEIGH)
NORTON ANTI-TERRORIST
HEY! YOU TALKING TO ME?
MY NAME IS ALBERT KYDAH
SADDAMI, SADDAMI, BALONEY
IF WE'RE GOING DOWN (FLIGHT 93)
RUNNING OUT OF VIRGINS IN HEAVEN
TERRORISTS DON'T TAKE A VACATION
THE DAY THE WORLD STOOD STILL (9-11)
OOPS, WE BOMBED THE WRONG COUNTRY
To the TOP
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